so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
