You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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