So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize