your thong is hanging out like whoa
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
