What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
