Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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