I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
