Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
