I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
