butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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