dude i'm inner monologue high
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Randomize
