The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
