Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
