I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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