I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
