shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
