I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
