apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
