There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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