i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
