Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
