I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
