last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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