Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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