At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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