I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
