We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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