wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
4 words: hood of his car
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
