Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
