I'm gonna have a badass scar
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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