I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
