i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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