drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Your cock deserves a montage
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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