Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
