drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
