Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
