so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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