I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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