I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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