I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
