oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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