she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Your cock deserves a montage
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize