Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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