he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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