sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
