Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
