im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
