As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
