Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She told me I should be a condom model.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
