She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
