Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The air was thick with penises
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
