So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize