You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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