Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize