The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize