I skipped work to stalk him.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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