Just fell off a train. Bad.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize