I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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