i already hear my dad disowning me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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