You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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