i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
im holly from the hills drunk
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
