i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
