I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
