I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
