I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
