no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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